Shadows Of Paragon - Fear Of Being Forever Lost текст песни

Time has come for renewal.
I urgently long for an altered situation.
Only chained to my solitude
there is serenity in my insecurity.
A fatal stillness in silence after the abuse,
long enough have I rested in the dark,
Silently cried out all pain,
reached out my hand for kindness
but dreading rejection.

Was I reaching for false hopes?
Was I waiting for human goodness
although all I had seen was human wickedness?
Was I closing the door for approval?

I hid in the fear of being lost forever
and chose to slowly fade .
I swam toward the bottom of my sea of self pity,
filled my lungs with deadly water from my past.
I swam deeper when someone tried to pull me up,
sacrifice myself in fear of drowning the one who cared.
I longed for an altered situation
but human kindness I feared the most
I expected even more wickedness

God I know that You were always there.
Only Your thoughtfulness kept me alive
during my darkest hours.

Was I reaching for false hopes?
Was I waiting for human goodness
although all I had seen was human wickedness?
Was I closing the door for approval?

Sometime I wish You would have let me die.
Still I knew, that You offer life in abundance
But I search for the indemnification that can come only from the who inflicted shame on me.