Bob Schneider - A Fine Scabs Christmas текст песни

It was Thursday night in Jerusalem
And it was cloudy and mean
Ole Jesus went out on the town
To get himself some of that turpentine
He went into a bar and said,
a€?Can I get a shot of that meada€
The bartender not recognizing ole Jesus said,
a€?Therea€™s something that youa€™ll needa€

Well now ole Jesus got carded on Christmas
It was such a sight
And Santaa€™s got a boner and hea€™s fucking my daughter
Ooohhh on Christmas night

Ita€™sa fine Scabs Christmas
Here in purgatory
All the angels have on fake dicks
Ita€™s just that same ole story
Wea€™re going to hell
Wea€™re gonna spend Christmas in hell


All I want for Christmas is for you to stick your finger in my nuts
All I want for Christmas is for you to stick your tongue all over my nuts
And then I might stick my little christmasy finger in your butt

There was a little boy born in a manger
And they called him Jesus Christ
His mother was a virgin but somehow she still had lice
a€?Now howa€™d you get those crabs, mother Mary?a€
Ole Joseph did inquire
Then Jesus popped out and he said, a€ Ia€™m your sire
I am the Son of God
I am the Son of God
I am hungry but I am the Son of God
And so they invented Melba toast
But Jesus got carded on Christmas
Ia€™ve got a scab on my Christmas