Georg Kreisler - Butler Burton текст песни

From London to Warsaw, from Shanghai to Texas
People are made of two different sexes!

When the world was first conceived
I'm sure everyone was relieved
To discover that for every her there was a him
Otherwise, otherwise it would have been very confusing
And considerably less amusing!
But now all dogs and hogs
Have their female hogs and dogs
A lion in distress
Has his lioness
A fox has his vixen –
And Mason has Dixon

But it grieves me to report – I'm very sorry –
About a person in a different category:

Our Butler Burton, our Butler Burton –
As a Butler he's a jewel!
Our Butler Burton, our Butler Burton
Doesn't seem to follow the general rule!

Our Butler Burton
Is uncertain
It's a very awkward thing
For we have a lot of men around the place
When he demonstrates his passion
On a visitor of fashion
Oh, a Butler should be subtler in his case!
There's just no clue
To what he'll do
You never know which sex he's gonna woo!

Our Butler Burton
Is uncertain
Life with him is so exacting
His peculiar way of acting
'S a disgrace!

Our Butler Burton
Is uncertain
And when he wants to have a fling
He just slips his arm around the chauffeur's waist
Now our chauffeur is a loafer
But that's one thing he won't go for
Femininity is much more to his taste!

So Burton's through
He's feeling blue
And any butcher, baker
Candlestick-maker
Will do
Our Butler Burton
Is uncertain
And his manners are erratic
And empathic-
Ally he ought to be replaced!

He's ambitious
And officious
Nine AM 'til five
He looks normal
And a-formal
And when the guests arrive
Until the drinks are served
The quorum is preserved
Gut alcohol releases
His sexual caprices!

Our Butler Burton
Is uncercertain
It's a very awkward thing
For we cannot keep a gardener very long
When he's working on the flowers
He just pesters him for hours –
And the pansies sing a melancholy song!

And when he's stewed he's rather crude
And he recieves our callers in the nude!
Our Butler Burton
Is uncertain
And he's getting disconcerted
For he knows that it's perverted –
And its's wrong!

He's obedient
Expedient
He knows what to serve
He's gracious
Eticatious
Full of joy and verve
'Til someone comes his way
With whom he can be gay –
Without a “Beg-your-pardon!”
They exit to the garden!

Our Butler Burton
Is uncertain
It's a very awkward thing
For we cannot let him have a moment free
Once I hired him a floozy
But the fellow was so choosy
He just looked at her surprized and said: “Who, me?”

I am dismayed
And I'm afraid
I think our Butler would be better as a maid!
Our Majordomo
Is a homo
And it can't go on like this!
For the footman is defensive
And the rumours are extensive
And the lawsuit is expensive
And my wife is apprehensive
That the fellow may destroy our wedded bliss –
For every night when I come home – he wants a kiss!