 
I can name my Top 10 records
I can name my favourite goals
But just lately I've had a quandary
That I can't seem to resolve
I can name my Top 10 films
Or which actors I think are good
But if I had to choose between chips and tits
I don't think that I could
Chips or tits?
I can't decide which one I like best
Chips or tits?
Fried potato's or a lady's breast
My favourite cake's an Eccles
My favourite animal is a cat
But given the choice between chips or tits
I don't think I could answer that
My favourite crisps are Wotsits
And sexual position is doggy style
But if you made me choose between chips and tits
It would take me quite a while
Chips or tits?
Which one I like best, I just can't describe
Tits or chips?
Mammary glands or spuds, chips and fries
Chips!  I like 'em with a bit of plaice
Tits!  I like 'em when they're on my face
Chips!  I eat 'em when I'm in my car
Tits!  I like 'em in or out of a bra
Chips!  I like 'em with a buttered roll
Tits!  I like 'em with a juicy hole
Chips!  I like 'em with tomato sauce
Tits!  I just like 'em of course!
Chips!  I like 'em with a saveloy
Tits!  Either side of my old boy
Chips!  I like 'em with a bit of cod
Tits!  They make me lose my wad
Chips!  I like 'em with a sausage in batter
Tits!  Big or small, it doesn't matter
Chips!  I like 'em with some mushy peas
Tits!  Can I see some please?
 
| 1 | Carol Vorderman | 
| 2 | Fucksticks | 
| 3 | Arranged Bride | 
| 4 | I Shit My Pants | 
| 5 | All I Want For Christmas Is You (To Bring Me Off) | 
| 6 | The Illegal Download Song | 
| 7 | Kunt Comfort |