Misc Dementia - Jingle Bells текст песни

Someone had earlier asked for CHIRSTMAS SONGS
(novelty christams songs that is).
This one's slightly Christmassy; anyway, it mentions
Christmas twice, has a lot of snow in it, and goes to
The tune of "Jingle Bells"

Stay Demented,
jerry

Dyslexics of the world untie!

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Dashing through the snow,
In my rusty Chevrolet,
Down the road I go,
Sliding all the way.

I need new piston rings,
I need some new snow tires,
My car is held together with
A piece of chicken wire!

O, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away!
I light a match to see the dash, and then I start to pray!
The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio, it's OK!
Oh, what fun it is to drive this rusty Chevrolet!

I went to da I.G.A,
To get some Christmas cheer,
I just passed up my left front tire
And it's gettin' hard to steer!

Skidding down da highway,
Right passed da Naganey cops,
I had to drag my swampers
To get the car to stop!

O, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away!
I light a match to see the dash, and then I start to pray!
The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio, it's OK!
Oh, what fun it is to drive this rusty Chevrolet!

Bouncing through the snowdrifts,
In a big blue cloud of smoke,
People laugh as I drive by
I wonder what's da joke?

I got to get to Shopco,
To pick up the lay-a-way,
Cuz Santa Claus is comin' soon
In his big old rusty sleigh!

O, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away!
I light a match to see the dash, and then I start to pray!
The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio, it's OK!
Oh, what fun it is to drive this rusty Chevrolet!