 
Sitting in front of the tv late one afternoon
Saw a man that would change my life, make my balding head rebloom
His name is mr.  sperling, his good friends call him "Sy"
Strand-by-strand the hair club can kiss my balding head goodbye
Minoxidil insanity
Sy Sperling is reality
Strand-by-strand your hair expands
Naturally
He's a modern day Jesus.  A leader for the meek
Before and after, no more laughter, you too can be a sheik
Hair once gone will grow again, no one will point and stare
Sy Sperling is not just the hair club president
He's also a client
Minoxidil insanity
His favor to humanity
Free you from stupidity
Indefinitely?
1-800-hair club for men
| 1 | Facial Origami | 
| 2 | The Pimp, The Bitch, And The Magic Beans | 
| 3 | Subliminal Smurf | 
| 4 | The Cross-Dress Crusade | 
| 5 | Let's Dig Him Up And Shit On Him |