Santa didn't keep his promise, so he's getting his cookies and milk NO MORE
All I wanted to get for Christmas was a Boba Fett
Still in original packaging, but Santa has abandoned me
And I wanted me a new guitar
With EMGs and a whammy bar
I don't know why that's so much to ask
I was good this year, but now I'm beating some ass because
[Chorus]
Santa's a bastard 'cuz he wouldn't give me what I wanted for Christmas
Santa's an asshole 'cuz he didn't give me what I wrote on my wishlist
Santa's all shady 'cuz he won't deliver on the things that he promised
Santa's so lazy making children suffer like a jolly old sadist
LIES.
All I wanted to get for Christmas was a private jet
With a stewardess named Angelina Jolie
But Santa has forsaken me
And I wanted just like every year
A new liver and a truck of beer
I've been so nice and real patient too
But Kris Kringle's got a lot of explaining to do because
[Chorus]
Santa brought a bunch of socks.
| 1 | Beer! |
| 2 | Beer is good |
| 3 | Because Boobs |
| 4 | The Dumb Song |
| 5 | Obey The Beard |
| 6 | Do You Want A Taco? |
| 7 | Girl Directions |
| 8 | We Ran Out Of CD Space |
| 9 | ABCDEath |
| 10 | Two Ton Paperweight |