Rodney Rude - Stunted Kleptomaniac Puts Brown Smudges .. текст песни

- Stunted Kleptomaniac Puts Brown Smudges On Stationary -

How 'bout you if you lived in one of those Middle Easter countries?
You spent thirty grand havin' your kid taught the piano, he turns out a thief and has to have his hands off!
Here's the poor little prick down the cop shop havin' his hands off and then he's gotta ride his bike home!
Here he is comin' down the lane, his mother's lookin' out the kitchen window, he goes 'Look mum no hands!'
He grows up incorrigible, he can't help himself, he's always pinchin' shit. Ya pinch somethin' in those countries, they cut yer hands off.
Pinch a pair of Reeboks off with yer feet. He's pinched so much shit, all that's left of him is just a limbless trunk!
The only thing he can pinch is Christmas cards in his arse crack!
Here he is down the paper shop pinchin' Christmas cards in his arse crack!
A manager phones the cops he says 'I got a bloke down here he's pinchin' Christmas cards in his arse crack!'
'I think he's the same prick, ripped me off with the plastic rulers and the place mats and any other flat shit, I can't fucken think of yet. So what'll I do?'
And the cop says, this is the cop, the cop goes 'Ung ungh Can you describe him for me?'
He says 'Yeah, he's wearin' a fucken pillow case with a trapdoor in the arse!'
The cop says, this is the cop again, the cop goes 'Has he got a little pink lamb embroidered on his pillow case?'
He says 'Yeah!'
The cops says 'That's that fucken arse crack thief! We'll get him down the cop shop and use him for a filing cabinet'
What if he emigrated to Australia. Arse crack thief?
Hey!
Here he is comin' through in his fucken pillow case! Where would he get a job? Hey?
He'd have a job down the Lebo joint keepin' the fucken Pita bread warm!
He'd have a second job, Sat'day mornin' down the fish market deliverin' the flounder!
Hey, what if you had Alzheimer's Disease?
You go to the doctor and he says 'Oh just try to forget about it!'
What about if you're an elderly bloke had Parkinson's Disease and McDonalds give you a job?
Here you are behind the counter, the girl comes in, you say 'Something to help you' She says 'I'm not that hungry, just give us a shake'