 
As I was using a cocktail umbrella to clean out the crepes from under my nails, 
Maureen dug in, evidence of absence is not 
evidence of absinthe 
which meant I should know the difference between silver and tin, 
which I do, so I stood up to dish it right back, 
and predictably crack - the wooden garnish now impaled so I resat. 
Coincidentally Chris, this is no coincidence 
that meant I should take the blame for every time I was late 
so I began my list as I did every day 
with a series of apologies that will never be seen, 
I crumpled it up and i threw it at Maureen and I said, 
Next to your name there's a song you should know. 
She read what I wrote: 
Calling All Men Between The Ages of 22 and 40, Calling All Men Between The Ages. 
and with a sigh she began:
Yes, if I recall the lyrics ran 'Oh please, massage my feet' 
and we fell back to sleep by 8:38.
 
| 1 | Too-Rai-Skippery-Dappery-Day! | 
| 2 | The Difference Between This, That, And The Other Thing | 
| 3 | A Trinity Of Pairs | 
| 4 | The Mega-hang Is Always The Heavy-hang | 
| 5 | Just Blow, Don Quixote! Blow! |